We scan the legal ads so you don’t have to

Potholes no more? Eh, probably not The Sewerage & Water Board is looking for bids to re-pave open cuts in the streets, driveways, and sidewalks that resulted from SWB’s underground utility repair. It won’t fix all the gaping holes in the city, but at least your tires will get a break on some streets.
Audubon looking for (non-oily) shrimp The Audubon Commission is seeking bids from seafood suppliers to contribute to animal diets. They want shrimp, crabs, clams and other varieties of seafood. Fax: 504-866-1224. In related news, the citizens of the Gulf Coast are also seeking clean shrimp, crabs, clams, and other varieties of seafood, to contribute to human diets. Contact Billy Nungesser or Bobby Jindal for details.
Jeff Parish owes $, makes cuts on road improvement Jefferson Parish’s Community Development Department is modifying its federal Community Development Block Grant program to make more than a 50 percent cut in money for  improvements to streets, and a 32 percent increase in money used for repaying a huge debt from a bad loan they made through the program. Basically, Jefferson’s Parish’s mistake = more potholes for all. Info: 504-736-6262.
Hawk Eye Towing says it ain’t their fault Hawk Eye Towing, LLC, owner of the M/V Grey Hawk, says that it isn’t responsible for claims resulting from an incident on Jan 30 when a barge the company was towing struck an ‘unlit, unmarked, abandoned wellhead,’ and caused damage. Info: 504-525-7500
Lock UP Hayward The citizens of Louisiana are calling for an arrest of BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward, for making false statements and covering up material facts about the scale and scope of the BP Oil Spill, in violation of Title 18 of the United States Code. They are demanding that police detain Hayward on sight. Well, then.
Bids for new elementary school The state Department of Education is taking bids for a new elementary school to be opened on the site of Lawrence D. Crocker School in New Orleans. Info: 504-314-1404
— By Jessica Williams