Government & Politics

Blame it on the porn

As we remain cautiously optimistic about the progress of the top kill operation to stop the Macondo oil gusher, I want to focus on porn.

The Times-Picayune’s Mark Schleifstein reports that

An investigation of Minerals Management Service employees in Lake Charles found a widespread culture of accepting gifts from oil companies, including hunting and fishing trips, Christmas parties and even free tickets to see Louisiana State University beat the University of Miami in the 2005 Peach Bowl in Atlanta, according to a report released Tuesday by the Department of Interior Inspector General.


The investigation also found that 13 employees in MMS offices in New Orleans and Lake Charles were using federal e-mail accounts to receive or forward pornographic images and links to pornographic videos.


And at least two employees in the Lake Charles office were using drugs, the report said.

Last month, after learning that U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission officials downloaded massive amounts of porn during the biggest U.S. financial meltdown since the Great Depression, I cheekily wondered, “To what extent is Stormy Daniels responsible for the financial crisis?” Now that we know MMS officials were viewing massive amounts of porn in the years prior to the biggest oil disaster in U.S. history, I must ask, “To what extent is Stormy Daniels responsible for the Macondo oil gusher?”

MMS employees were downloading boobs and now coastal residents are downloading boom. MMS waited for money shots, and now we’re waiting on junk shots. They were watching dirty wild sex, and now we’re cleaning dirty wildlife. They were smoking grass, now we’re fighting to save grassy wetlands. They were doing meth, now our fishermen are breathing methane. They polluted their noses with blow, and now our coast is polluted by a blowout. They were getting drilled by oil industry representatives, and now we’re getting drilled by…

That’s probably more than enough to make my point. In short, if the appropriate regulatory agencies had zealously performed their duties, would the same disastrous risks have been taken in the Gulf and on Wall Street? How much worse could the MMS be if it were run by big, oiled porn stars distracted by government, rather than Big Oil shills distracted by porn?

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  • mrraynichols

    Not everybody’s as zealous as you are Sweetie…

    Let’s hope they sober up & do their jobs!



  • ratboy504

    Congrats on the gig Diesel. But I’m tired of everyone blaming it on the porn.

  • Michael Homan

    Stormy Danoils for Senate!

  • Tim

    Well it should be no surprise that they were watching porn at MMS. That’s probably where they got the idea to fuck us.

    “Harder! Oh, God! Yes!”