A strong wave of initial buzz is preceding “Waiting for ‘Superman’”, a new documentary about schools in America and the difficulties low-income parents have in finding a quality education for their children. A lucky few will win the “good school” lottery, while the rest get left behind with dwindling future prospects.

I’ll review “Waiting for ‘Superman’” after seeing it, but I have serious concerns about the title, especially after learning that a new Superman movie series is in the works. I believe we need to reassess Superman’s role in our culture, and I am opposed to inserting this so-called superhero into discussions about education.

Fans of the Man of Steel think they know him. They take Superman at face value and assume he’s a well-intentioned champion fighting for truth and justice. The reality, though, is much darker. While Superman identifies with the American Way, he is an anathema to it.

An undocumented alien who entered the country illegally, “Superman” uses a fake name – Clark Soetoro Kent – to hide his true identity. Based on careful internet research, I’m convinced Clark S. Kent’s real birth certificate reads Kal-El, which sounds vaguely Muslim. Kal-El was the product of an arranged marriage on the planet Krypton between Jor-El and Lara Lor-Van. Kal-El’s mother, Lara, was reportedly “horrified” to learn that her husband wanted to send her baby to a “primitive” planet like Earth. But deteriorating circumstances on Krypton forced her to reconsider, and Kal-El was shipped to the United States. But to what end? Did Kal-El’s parents merely want to save him from Krypton’s destruction, or was he sent here with intent to enslave us?

This much we know: After Superman emerged and began all his extra-legal “crime-fighting”, he built a mysterious “Secret Citadel” deep in the mountains that housed a shrine honoring his anti-Earthite mother. What more do we need to know? While Superman cleverly aligns himself with the American Way, he cares little for the Christian heritage of our Founding Fathers. Thus, his values are suspect. Superman is not an American avatar, he’s an alien atheist. His secret idolatry of his bigot mother denotes a mentality forged in Krytponian colonialism, not American liberty. There is no more dangerous role model for our children.

Superman walks among us in plain sight, disguised as Clark Kent, a mild-mannered journalist working for the Lamestream Legacy Media (no surprise there). Kent’s early reporting was unprofessional and skewed with left-wing bias. For example, when Kent infiltrated a now-defunct organization called the KKK to get a scoop, a brave critic named Richard von Busack called him out:

Clark Kent, as an extraterrestrial immigrant, ought not to have been covering the foreigner-hating Klan in the first place; it was a conflict of interest. But journalistic ethics always were loose at The Daily Planet.

It’s no coincidence that Kent chose to work at The Daily Planet rather than its cross-town rival, The Daily American. The loose ethics and liberal bias at The Planet suit him. How can we expect Kent to report the truth (and Superman to fight for it) if their various personas are built around a lie? There’s an insidious double edge here that our children need to recognize: if Superman can leap a tall building, then he can also leap a tall border fence. If he can stop a locomotive, he can illegally ride on top of one as well. Superman has immense powers but he’s not what he seems, and that makes him ultra-dangerous. Granted, every now and then he saves humanity from destruction, but that doesn’t excuse his constant harassment of capitalist businessmen like Lex Luthor. (And don’t expect The Daily Planet to ever do a story on all the henchmen Superman has put out of work.)

In short, Superman is a powerful deception and wrong for our children. If we want to admire someone who flies around saving kids from disaster, we should look to real Americans like Superintendant Paul Vallas, not to mysterious beings from outside the solar system. With his false identity, anti-business bent, and his mother’s Kryptonian-supremacist worldview, Superman’s not fighting for the American Way— he’s undermining it.

Moreover, what’s with the wardrobe? Even a red-blooded male like myself can’t help but notice the way Superman’s tight costume accentuates his sculpted physique. His flagrant musculature is positively distracting. When you add the seductive forelock, the angular chin, the smoldering eyes… it’s like he enjoys shoving his alien lifestyle down our throats! If Superman had any proper American shame, he’d wear his cape in front. I mean, how are pubescent teens supposed to ignore Superman’s perfect abs when I can’t even do it? The next time Superman delivers a pep talk to students at the local gymnasium, his spandex bulges will set off a sex riot. Just watch.

South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint understands school is no place for unwholesome distractions. Education will only improve when our impressionable youth have true role models to admire, not people who are living a lie. That’s why DeMint deserves praise for recently speaking out against loose, Superman-style ethics:

DeMint said if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn’t be teaching in the classroom and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who’s sleeping with her boyfriend — she shouldn’t be in the classroom.

Amen. This brings us to Clark Kent’s alien lust for Lois Lane, an unmarried American woman. Clearly Kent can’t be smitten with Miss Lane because he’s incapable of human love. Thus, he must be using his Superman persona to lure Miss Lane into a romantic trap. Eventually he will succeed and — beyond exposing her to untold intergalactic diseases — she will give Kent what he wants: an anchor baby. This will let Kent avoid deportation so he can continue dismantling this country from within, as Superman.

Some apologists want to give Superman a pass. They claim he’s a “refugee,” not an illegal immigrant. Well. Refugees don’t need three different names, nor do they need to wear tights, and they certainly don’t need to redefine the American Way.  But even if Superman were a refugee, he shouldn’t be afforded special treatment, and get to leap to the front of the refugee line in a single bound. In recent years, thousands of Christian refugees begged entry into the United States to escape persecution and death in war-torn Iraq. Why should those groups be forced to take a backseat to the mysterious “Kal-El”? If Mr. Fancy Pants likes America so much, he should get on the (18-25 year long) waiting list to legally emigrate to this country. Superman should be forced to wait for us, not vice versa.

In short, Kal-El’s first act in this country was a crime. If only a patriot had reported the infant illegal alien to the authorities, we might’ve avoided the current mess. Blinded by compassion, we’ve allowed a powerful alien “terror baby” to grow up in our midst. Now, using a false identity, this “Superman” has insinuated himself into American culture and bewitched our impressionable youth with dangerous ideas about truth and justice and fashion.

Whatever problems our school children face, “Superman” can only make them worse.