Does the Big ‘S’ stand for Shaquille, Superman or … Subversion!!

Last week a scandalous event occurred at Louisiana’s flagship university. Crowds gathered to cheer a subversive person who touts values that are anathema to our national character.

Perhaps you think I’m referring to some radical protest at the edge of LSU campus or an extremist diatribe on Free Speech Alley.

I wish it were so.

No, I’m describing a fully authorized LSU event at the heart of the campus, supported and promoted by the school administration. And not only did they celebrate this devious character, they then waltzed him off to a Tiger football game, where he was applauded by another 100,000 Louisianans.

The media were on hand, but they were no help. Instead of alerting us to the this menacing development, they covered it like any other “good news” story.

It’s this conspiracy of silence about a growing threat that spells our doom.

I’m referring to LSU’s homage last Thursday to retired basketball star Shaquille O’Neal, an open and ardent admirer of Superman. In the video of the celebration, here, you’ll see a series of encomiums to “Shaq” – the most famous sports “hero” on the entire roster of LSU alumni. The proceedings then culminate with a grand unveiling of an enormous statue in his honor.

Over the past year I’ve done everything possible to alert Lens readers about the alien infiltrator known as Superman. I’ve rung the emergency bell, I’ve raised the upside-down flag, all to no avail. My readers seem tragically complacent.

I’d hoped my warnings would jostle them to heightened awareness, that they’d take steps to protect themselves from Superman’s influence. But instead of adopting a vigilant crouch, everyone collectively yawned. Don’t they know about my unerring instincts when it comes to the most important issues facing our Republic?

It’s no stretch to say that alien-sympathizers like Shaq put our very way of life at risk. LSU’s embrace of Shaq is the crowning blow. By the time Louisianans become fully conscious of the Superman menace, it will be too late.

Many know Shaq as a dominant presence in NBA basketball over the past two decades. The center won four championships while successfully marketing himself to both children and adults. He’s also fond of giving himself nicknames, such as Diesel, The Big Aristotle … and Superman.

But there’s a difference between nicknames and identity. Broadcasters may refer to Shaq as “Big Daddy,” but O’Neal self-identifies as Superman. As this researcher has noted:

Shaq is obsessed with the Man of Steel. He has a Superman tattoo on his arm, a Superman logo on several of his cars, a logo etched onto a leather jacket, and he can often be seen wearing Superman T-shirts, necklaces, and other paraphernalia. He even starred in Steel, a crappy movie about a man who was himself a cheap Superman knockoff.

Plainly, Shaq is an apostle of Superman, if not his spiritual heir. At Shaq’s LSU fete, the curtain shrouding the bronze statue bore Superman “S” logo – a giant one in purple and gold, no less!

Blinded by foolish pride, LSU clearly was endorsing not only Shaq, but Shaq as Superman. Why would an institution of higher learning risk such a controversial move? Aren’t they aware of Superman’s subversive anti-Americanism? Don’t they know that the last town to erect a Superman statue began suffering from radiation exposure and cancer deaths?

As I’ve repeatedly warned, Superman is no role model for students. He is an illegal alien atheist who seeks to undermine the American Way by pretending to embody it. LSU should be ashamed of itself for celebrating Shaquille O’Neal, Superman’s biggest fan.

Just this year, Superman renounced his American citizenship. What do you think of that? I repeat: the costumed avatar from Krypton turned his back on his adopted country and declared, “‘ … truth, justice and the American Way’ — it’s not enough any more.”

Comic book aficionados were stunned by this act of treachery, but astute observers, yours truly among them, saw it coming all along. Superman has always been an impostor, a fake, a phony. His renunciation of American citizenship wasn’t whimsy on his part. It was the  culmination of a Kryptonic scheme to neuter planet Earth’s mightiest country. Superman has other-worldly ideas about truth, justice and fashion. We can’t let another generation of kids get co-opted by this fake hero’s alien values. But with schools like LSU celebrating apostles of The Man of Steel, we’re doomed.

After the statue-unveiling ceremony, Shaq sat down with Times-Picayune sportswriter John Reid for an interview. You won’t believe the following exchange:

[T-P] What can you say about Orlando Magic All-Star center Dwight Howard. Are you friends or foes?

[Shaq:] His mom and my mom are good friends. I don’t have a problem. But my thing is if you want to call yourself me (Superman), then you’ve got big shoes to fill. … He won a dunk contest with a cape. If you want to be called Superman because of that, it’s fine with me. I’m Superman for other reasons. I don’t envy him; he’s a great young player. … If Dwight doesn’t win two or three championships, I’m going to be disappointed. He doesn’t have nobody. When I came in the league, I had to go through Alonzo Mourning, Arvydas Sabonis, Kevin Duckworth, Rik Smits.

Clearly any red-blooded sportswriter would interrupt the interview right there and say: “Shaq, I’m not here to abet your nefarious schemes; how can you possibly mention second-rate foreigners like Rick “the ‘Flying’ Dutchman” Smits and Arvydas “the Grounded Lithuanian” Sabonis, while overlooking all-American basketball titans such as David Robinson, Patrick Ewing and Hakeem Olajuwon? Is this some sort of sick joke, to elevate foreigners at the expense of American Hall of Famers? What other agenda is afoot here?”

But those questions went unasked, as Shaq cleverly turned the conversation back into an anthem to his false god. The question that went unanswered: “Why should a sports hero be allowed to identify with so unpatriotic a figure as Superman in the first place?!”

Ponder his words and you’ll detect a spooky revelation in Shaq’s otherwise cryptic statement: “I’m Superman for other reasons.” It gives the game away. Shaq understands that “Superman” is not just a single individual; the S (for Subversion, perhaps?) stands for a whole collection of pernicious ideas that can infect anyone. And that’s why the Superman concept is so dangerous. Just as Shaq grew up to emulate the Clark Kent/Superman, countless kids will grow up to emulate the Shaquille O’Neal/Superman. And LSU’s adulation will be partly to blame.

So, let’s dig deeper and see if we can’t discover the other “reasons” for Shaq’s deep personal identification with his hero. First recall that the alien child Kal-El (a.k.a. Superman) was adopted by parents from Kansas. Now, also note that the man who originally invented the game of basketball — Dr. James Naismith — taught at the University of Kansas.

Okay, with those facts in mind look at the bronze statue unveiled at LSU. It shows Shaq hanging from the rim of a shattered backboard. The hardwood floor below his shoes is ruptured as well. This is a violent image of destruction, not professional sportsmanship.

It makes sense when you think about it, though. Just as the Kal-El “Superman” destroyed national values by transmuting them into globalism, Shaq’s Superman destroys basketball history by ignoring heroes of the game born in the United States. And just as Kal-El insulted his Kansas parents’ nationality when he renounced his own, Shaq, with the help of LSU, has become a symbol of the sport’s destruction. You’d be a fool to think this was all mere coincidence.

Language is the next frontier, of course. The star of the Dallas Mavericks, the reigning NBA champions, is a German named Dirk Nowitski. Nowitski has strong-armed our entire nation into pronouncing the “w” in his name like a “v.” When will the infiltration stop, when will it end?

The answer is, it won’t.

We’ll be hearing a lot more from Shaq in the coming years. He recently signed a deal to do commentary on the popular Inside the NBA show. That gives Superman’s apostle a veritable  pulpit from which to spew his globalist propaganda. No doubt he’ll talk up the Virtues of NoVitski, at the expense of all-American talent. Worse yet, Shaq may inspire a whole new wave of infiltrating immigrants to throng our shores, drawn to a new “American Way” based on globalism and deception.

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  • Name

    What did I just read?

  • TJ

    I think this was a poor attempt at satire.

  • I thought it was pretty good shot at selective (but not selective enough) outrage.